Does Positivity Have A Dark Side?

Does Positivity Have A Dark Side?

Whoa. What? How could positivity have a dark side? It’s all amazing and rainbows with butterflies and makes the world a happy, awesome place!

Yeah. It does. And believe me, I LOVE it.

Just not when it’s delusional. Positivity doesn’t always equal good.

There is nothing wrong with flipping perspectives in a crappy situation to get you through or to truly see how small your problems might be in the big scheme of things. BUT when your positivity becomes the refusal to be REAL about a situation that might not be so awesome, then you are evading the truth. And that ain’t cool.

Many times when someone gets real about something, all of a sudden they are labeled as being ‘negative’ when they aren’t at all.  They are being honest. Truthful. Truth hurts sometimes, right? COMPLETELY different from being negative. Negativity is doom and gloom, woe is me, always complaining, can never see the light. (We all have those moments and if you say you never have, you lyinnnnn’!) Negativity is NOT asking logical, rational questions to improve a situation. It is NOT being skeptical if it creates positive growth.

Positivity is great for us on many levels but it can lead us to a false sense of “everything is alright,” when it’s not. Then there is no motivation to make any change or improvement – it’s settling. And that can be incredibly delusional. It is completely compromising who you are… your values and standards being swept under the rug.

Being real and honest with ourselves and with others, only helps us grow! Something to consider: if you find yourself CONTINUALLY saying ‘everything is great. everything is fine. life is good,” who are you trying to convince? Yourself or others? Are you just accepting mediocrity? If so, why is that? If things are shit, say so! Be real with yourself. There is nothing wrong with experiencing the full range of human emotions.  Just don’t unpack and live in the ones that make you feel awful. Process, grow, and move on.

Life is never picture perfect. There are many people out there who try to hide behind the ‘oh-so-happy-all-the-time’ façade and maybe they fool other people, but they can’t fool themselves. When I see others trying too hard to be happy, it most certainly comes across as not genuine, strained, and forced. It makes me wonder why they feel the need to cover up reality. Are they worried about looking bad?

With social media, I fear that a lot of people try to paint a very different picture of their lives. I suppose I get it – fear of judgement and wanting to protect their image or some image they deem ‘likeable‘ or ‘perfect‘ or ‘successful.’ Personally, I have mad respect for the authentic ones.  The ones who speak up when they need to… have the tough conversations without fear. I aspire to be one of those people. It takes a lot of strength and maturity to face truth with others and especially with ourselves. This is where growth happens.

We need to be able to see BOTH of the positives and negatives in life in order to view the world with a realistic lens. The extreme of either is living out of whack. I don’t know about you but I like to be balanced in all areas of my life.

Be real.



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